Screw the future!

Things I learned from years of "financial independence" and "budgeting":

- I can eat Century Tuna every freakin' day.

- If it's your dilapidated shoes' time, it's its time—no matter how much industrial strength rugby you slather on it.

- The idea of spending money on clothes and shoes causes me to develop a sudden, guilt-laced fever.

- Your budget remains theoretical until you actually follow it. Even if you've edited and formatted it with nice little borders and fonts.

- My "latte factor" will eventually run me into bum-hood. (Thanks Oprah!)

- In reference to your fiscal future, the repercussions of adopting the line of thinking that advocates the constant use of taxis despite a variety of weak excuses (It's raining! I have too many bags! I might get lost!) will be disastrous.

- WAP is evil. Like, three-times-your-usual-phone-bill type of evil.

- As expected, having cable television takes away the need to have actual friends. Welcome back crappy reality tv and all my other pseudo-friends! I've missed you!

- Stop arguing. You're not going to save money if you go to the mall. It's like dangling a mouse in front of a cat. And for the record, the mouse = you, the cat = your impending bankruptcy.

- I don't really need to drink fruit shakes or halo-halos every other day now do I?

- It doesn't really matter much that you walk to work every day when you go resto hunting at night. Unless of course basic mathematics changes and six pesos is suddenly greater than P200.

- No, you don't actually have to buy a P150 can of peanut butter nor that P100 box of mint tea.

- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're not going to get anywhere by being bitter against the rich brats who were born into their credit limits. It's time to get angry. Like, you're-going-to-ram-yourself-into-a-wall-if-you-spend-any-more-money type of angry.

- You don't need to look further than the amount of shopping bags and resto receipts you have lying around the house for the reason why your bank account can never seem to recover.

- The following are dangerous words to people attempting to save money: "Eh, _____ pesos lang naman yan," "Discounted naman", "hindi naman tayo talaga gagastos," "anong balak mo tonight?" "this is a gift for myself," "I deserve this," and, well, basically the word "lang."

- To emphasize the point, discounts don't really equate to savings. And stop comparing to the regular price. Compare it to not spending at all. Not spending is what actually equates to savings!

- To be included in a long list of really bad mottos: Screw the future! Live in the now!


*Reposted from Belligerent Bliss

How to develop an actual life outside of work

*Reposted from my old blog, Belligerent Bliss.

1. Try not opting to spend Friday nights at the office. Take note, I said "opting to" not "forced to."

2. Blog, surf, chat, play and E-mail less during the day so that you can go out or maybe sleep at night (and with those words I have magically turned into my mother).

3. Stop casually watching your in-tray fill and actually work on them bit by bit instead of trying to finish it all off at three in the morning.

4. Text or call your friends once in a while to let them know that you are, in fact, still alive and are available to go out. *Will present a problem to people, like me, who do not have actual friends.

5. Come to work on time or try to avoid coming to work five hours late (and with those words I have magically turned into our cranky administrative assistant who regularly channels the spirit of my high school librarian).

6. Repeat after me: "No, I will not do that for you." There, don't you feel much better? Now, if your officemates won't stop asking then just hide under your desk.

7. Do not be caught bitching at your boss or she will go all Miranda Priestly on your ass.

8. Resist going to such sites as youtube.com, televisionwithoutpity or messageboards as they will aggresively consume your time.

9. Try to remember the last time that you've actually talked to your family, ate dinner at your house and got reacquainted with your nice, soft, cozy bed. Substitute nostalgia with regret, then with anger, then with desperation.

10. Remind yourself that, yes, life exists outside of your cubicle and said life does not include religiously following a reality tv show or successfully beating a computer game. Remind yourself that you deserve to experience said life. Validate yourself some more whilst hugging a stuffed animal. Finish off with a nice, Dr. Phil-esque bawl.


That is all for now.